By Cyril Anderson

 Part Three of Three

When muta’a is appropriate

Muta’a allows for satisfaction of sexual urges, and the satisfaction of the need for companionship in situations when a permanent marriage would be an impractical or impossible solution.  It is in general an opportunity for a man and woman to derive “enjoyment” from one another for a period of time.

 It is difficult to give a hard and fast set of rules when muta’a is the best solution and when someone should simply be patient or seek permanent marriage.  Life is almost infinitely complicated, with countless different situations that defy the imagination, and people are very different, so that a situation that is difficult, but manageable for one is unbearable for another.  Muta’a is somewhat like the spare tire in a car; a person who has never needed it might wonder about its usefulness, but if he finds himself in a situation where it’s necessary he is happy that it is there as a solution.  Instead of trying to give guidelines, I will try instead to give a number of practical situations where muta’a offers a reasonable solution to a very real problem

 There are a number of examples of situations where muta’a could be an effective solution:

n      widows or widowers, divorced men or women who don't want to make a lifetime commitment at the time, but desire companionship

n       students studying at university away from their home country or home province

n       people who are already dating and embrace Islam, but are unsure about permanent marriage commitment at that point

n       people who may want to marry permanently, and want to get to know the other person without the usual restrictions on non-married men and women mixing and interacting (even if sex isn’t involved)

n      a man studying or working for a long time away from his permanent wife (though in such a case, there is the protection for the wife that muta’a with a non-Muslim is forbidden for a Muslim man)

n       an un-married Muslim man who wants to marry a woman who is non-Muslim can marry her for a time to teach her about Islam in the hope that she will become Muslim and thus eligible for permanent marriage (in Shia law, a Muslim man may marry a monotheist woman temporarily, but permanent marriage is only allowed with Muslim women)

n       a situation where the man and woman are ready to get married permanently and don’t want to wait to be married, but want to put off the permanent marriage because their parents or other family are far away and it would be hard for them to come immediately for a ceremony

n       a case where one of their parents is very sick, and they want to be married, but want to put off the permanent marriage ceremony until after the parents are well, a soldier away in war, etc

Anticipated challenges and barriers to implementing this solution

There is a problem however in that there is a bit of a stigma in Muslim communities about muta’a.  First of all it is only legal in Shia’ school of Islam, and second, within Shia’ communities, there is some stigma attached to the practice, so that, while people will defend the right of a Muslim to practice muta’a if they need to, they still wouldn’t really want their daughters to do so.  This is even despite the fact that it is known that some youth are slipping into improper activities and adults know there is a problem.  There is more of a problem when it comes to young women, where issues of virginity before permanent marriage are taken more seriously.  That is, there is a culturally based double-standard that results in non-virgin women having a harder time finding a marriage partner than a virgin. There is a need either to change this culturally-based objection so that previously married women have an easier time marrying, or to make arrangements within the community to help young people get married permanently earlier.  Alternatively, there could be a combination of both, with young people marrying temporarily early with the view in mind that ideally, later on, they will upgrade the union to permanent with the same individual, when the man is able to fulfill his responsibilities of maintenance under a permanent marriage.  Until that time, the couple could perhaps stay in one of their parents’ homes.

 Outside the Muslim community, there is less expectation of negative reaction to muta’a, given a proper explanation of the practice, because muta’a, as practiced according to the letter of the law, would actually represent a more ordered framework than the current system of unregulated dating.  I think that if non-Muslims knew more about this institution of muta’a marriages, they would be quite intrigued by the idea as a practical solution to many social problems.

 Muta’a could provide a sensible solution to the problems of dating and sex amongst young people in the western world, and could help steer these young people toward a more responsible mindset directed toward the ideas of commitment and responsibility that marriage is built on.  This could help to produce reform in a gradual way among young people, helping them to become more serious about the idea of relationships, sexuality, marriage, and commitment, and could help to calm down many of the excesses of the current system though both the inner and outer regulations of muta’a relationships.

                          Part One             Part Two             Part Three