It is one of the most ancient traditions of the human family relations that at the time of marriage the man pays a dower (mahr) to the woman or to her father. In the past, different times brought different reasons for continuing this tradition. The reasons and manner in which Islam has continued this practice are unique and distinct in their own right. In the Islamic system of rights, it is the man’s duty to present a gift to the woman at the time of marriage. The dower is the exclusive property of the wife. The now married Muslim woman continues to manage and invest her personal earnings in the manner that she alone deems worthy.

WHAT THE ISLAMIC DOWER IS NOT

 THE DOWER IS NOT THE PRICE OF THE WIFE 

      If there is one thing that Islam teaches, it is that a virtuous human being is priceless. No Muslim that follows the way of Submission to God will claim that any monetary value or material wealth can replace or be equivalent to any good man or woman. The first principle upon which the Islamic belief system is founded is the Unity of God. Muslim men and women who understands the meaning of the unity of God do not stop at recognizing that divinity cannot be shared by any two entities. They strive to make the unity of God a reality with which they closely interact even in the very deepest and most intimate parts of their daily existence. They seek more strength from the One who endowed them with the strength that they have. They seek refuge from the One who provided them with refuge with they most needed it. They ask for support in achieving self-betterment from the One who inspired them to seek self-betterment. Muslim men and women continue to perfect their state of communion with their Creator in this way until every one of their actions is done with careful consideration of their relationship with God. As a result, a Muslim’s life is freed from the dictates of raw worldly objects and short-lived material gains. As the reality of the Unity of God becomes more present in the actions of Muslim men and women, the terms by which giving and taking are set come from a desire to serve the fellow man and woman and not to exploit them.

THE DOWER IS NOT COMPENSATION FOR THE PARENT’S EFFORTS IN RAISING THEIR DAUGHTER 

A Muslim man and women that follow the way of submission to God recognize that they cannot start to know about what it means to be grateful to their Creator without knowing how much they are indebted to their parents. Those who have seen their lives on the brink of ending had it not been for the hand that saved them know what it means to be grateful to the one who helped them when they most needed it. Every part of them feels infinitely indebted to the one who saved their life when it already existed. How grateful should one then be for those who helped bring them into existence? The Qu'ran reminds its reader of our parents’ efforts to raise us from helpless, weak and innocent children into independent, able-bodied and mature men and women. Islam then explains that God is the ultimate Helping Hand and the Ever-watchful Eye that does not sleep as it sees to our welfare and happiness. It explains that behind every helping hand and behind every opening there was the Hand of God for He is the Lord of all cause and effect. Consequently a Muslim man or woman that aims to show gratefulness to those that have given them what does not have a price, will not give or receive a dower with the intention that it is a compensation for the efforts of their parents.

 THE DOWER IS NOT A COMPENSATION FOR THE ECONOMIC EXPLOITATION OF THE WIFE 

Islam is uncompromising when it comes to the importance that it places on the family. Muslim men and women look at the family nucleus as building block for society as a whole in which all its members cooperate in a team spirit to achieve maximum harmony and self-betterment. More so, Islam does not find it sufficient to ask men and women to strengthen and nurture the ties from within the family sphere. It calls upon Muslim men and women to achieve an environment at the level of society as a whole that would help the institution of solid and stable families. In this way Islam aims to mold new generations with strong moral fiber from within the home. Before calling upon the members of its society to give up what is dear if need be for the preservation of their dignity and freedom, Islam wishes to show the child what it means to grow in a family circle of mutual self-sacrifice and giving. Muslim women and men are far from seeing the family as arena for capital investments or financial projects.

In addition, while the Qu'ran commends the beneficial aspects of a collective society it also recognizes the important of one’s personal identity and independence. When it comes to the Muslim women no difference is made. In Islam, whatever a married women earns belongs to her and not to anybody else, not even to her father or husband. It is her prerogative to determine where and how her earnings are to be spent in the way that would exemplify her dedication to the greater good. Furthermore, the Muslim man recognizes his duty in providing for his wife at all times his recognition of her efforts in bearing children.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE DOWER 

In explaining Islam’s purpose in giving the right of dower to the Muslim women in marriage, the Quran puts it quite elegantly. The English translation goes as follows: "Give to the women a free gift of their marriage portions". (Surah an-Nisa, 4 : 4) 

The Arabic and original verse use the arabic word ‘saduqatehinna’ when referring to the dower which implies truthfulness and sincerity. The Qu'ran thus teaches the Muslim man to show the sincerity and truthfulness of his intentions towards his to-be wife by placing a symbol of his appreciation for her. This symbol need not even be money as such. It may be a Qu'ran, a ring or any other item that has meaning and that can express some of the man’s appreciation for his to-be wife.