by
Sr. Diana Masooma Beatty
My
last topic in marriage is perhaps the most controversial
within the Muslim community, and this is the temporary
marriage. Among
the Muslims are some who believe that the temporary
marriage is unlawful and others who believe that it is
lawful and even very important.
Those who believe it is unlawful believe that the
Prophet of Islam (saw), through God’s command, allowed
it for a very short period and then disallowed it.
Those who believe it is lawful believe that the
Prophet of Islam (saw) never disallowed it but rather it
was a Caliph, after the death of the Prophet (saw) at
which time Islam can not be changed, who made it illegal.
Further,
those who find it lawful turn to a verse in the Qur’an
in which they believe it (temporary marriage) is
mentioned. They say that something which is lawful in
Qur’an and not made unlawful somewhere else in the
Qur’an must be permissible.
The matter of dispute is in 4:24, here presented as
in the Puya/Ali translation and tafsir of the Holy
Qur’an:
“As
to those whom you married for a fixed time (Mutah), give
them their agreed dowries; and there is no sin for you in
what you mutually agree together after what has been
settled.”
The
corresponding tafsir follows:
“Famastamta-tum
bihi [the Arabic in the text which refers to the marriage]
provides for a temporary marriage, knows as Mutah.
It has been specifically made lawful by the
Qur’an and the Holy Prophet, therefore this provision
subsists as unrescinded.
One
day, for no reason at all, and having no authority to
amend a law given and practiced by the Holy Prophet, the
second caliph declared from the pulpit:
‘Two
Mutahs (temporary marriage and combining hajj with umra)
were in force during the time of the Holy Prophet, but now
I decree both of them as unlawful; and I will punish those
who practice them.’ (Tafsir Kabir, Durr al Manthur,
Kashshaf, Mustadrak and others).
According
to Tirmidhi even his [the second caliph’s] son, Ibna
Umar, refused to agree with his father’s action because
it was made lawful by Allah and His Prophet, whose
pronouncements could never be revoked by any one after
him.
Therefore
the Shia school of thought holds both Mutahs lawful.
Ali ibn abi Talib reversed the uncalled-for
innovation of the second caliph, and thereafter it was
never again prohibited.”
Now
if we look at a different translation, we find that there
is no clear mention of the marriage referred to as being
temporary in nature:
“And
those of whom ye seek content (by marrying them), give
unto them their portions as a duty.
And there is no sin for you in what you do by
mutual agreement after the duty (hath been done).”
(Pickthall)
Thus,
for one who is not an expert in Qur’anic Arabic, it is
difficult to determine whether “famastamta-tum bihi”
refers to a temporary marriage.
It may be easier, then, to adhere by the law
according to the Islamic school that you choose to follow,
but this is not a truly satisfactory answer for the
convert who may have not yet chosen a school.
However, it is possible to study the works of those
who are more knowledgeable in Qur’anic Arabic or you can
try to determine the matter using the information on which
nearly all Muslims agree.
That
on which nearly all Muslims agree, both Sunni and Shia, is
that the temporary marriage was made lawful by the Prophet
(saw) of Islam and was not made unlawful until after Allah
swt had completed and perfected Islam and the Prophet
(saw) had died. It
is also largely agreed upon that anyone after the Prophet
(saw) cannot make anything that was lawful, unlawful, or
anything that was prohibited, allowed, except on a
temporary basis stemming from urgent political need.
As an example of a temporary change stemming from
urgent political need, it would be acceptable for an
Islamic scholar to prohibit the use of birth control
temporarily to counteract an oppressor’s rule that all
Muslims must not procreate.
Normally, many methods of birth control are
permissible for Muslims, but in an emergency when the
future of the Muslim society is at stake, the scholar can
rule that they should not use birth control until the
situation is alleviated.
Therefore
it would seem that the second caliph’s ruling cannot
have any effect on the permissibility of temporary
marriage today and as such the conclusion I make is that
it is permissible. There
are a minority of Sunnis who turn to different traditions
that indicate that the Prophet (saw) himself forbade Mutah,
but those traditions contradict each other and do not
stand up to close scrutiny and we are left with the same
conclusion that temporary marriage is permitted.
But, to address that opinion, the following is
quoted from the Shia Encyclopedia (available online):
“Sabra
al-Juhanni reported on the authority of his father that
while he was with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon
him), he said: O' people, I had permitted you to contract
temporary marriage with women, but Allah has forbidden it
(now) until the Day of Resurrection. So he who has any
(woman with this type of marriage contract) he should let
her off, and do not take back anything you have given to
them (as dower).
Sunni
references:
Sahih
Muslim, English version, v2, chapter DXLI (titled:
Temporary Marriage), Tradition #3255
Sahih
Muslim, Arabic version, 1980 Edition Pub. in Saudi Arabia,
v2, p1025, Tradition #21, "Kitab al-Nikah, Bab Nikah
al-Mutah"
'A
side comment here is that again the word "Istimta'a"
has been used in this tradition for temporary marriage
which is exactly what Quran has used.'
“In
the next tradition after the above tradition in Sahih
Muslim, the same narrator (Sabra) has narrated the same
tradition with addition that:
"I
saw Allah's Messenger standing between the pillar and gate
of Ka'ba when speaking the Hadith."
Sunni
references:
Sahih
Muslim, English version, v2, chapter DXLI (titled:
Temporary Marriage),
Tradition #3256
Sahih
Muslim, Arabic version, 1980 Edition Pub. in Saudi Arabia,
v2, p1025, Tradition #21, "Kitab al-Nikah, Bab Nikah
al-Mut'a"
“The
following tradition, however, indicates that the Prophet
allowed Temporary marriage after the battle of Hunain
(after 10/8 AH) which was after the conquest of Mecca:
Narrated
Iyas Ibn Salama on the authority of his father that
Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) gave sanction
for contracting temporary marriage for three nights in the
year of Autas (this was after the Battle of Hunain in 8H),
and then forbade it.
{Note:
The sentence inside parentheses is the Saudi translator's
footnote, and is NOT mine.}
Sunni
references:
Sahih
Muslim, English version, v2, chapter DXLI (titled:
Temporary Marriage), Tradition #3251
Sahih
Muslim, Arabic version, 1980 Edition Pub. in Saudi Arabia,
v2, p1023, Tradition #18, "Kitab al-Nikah, Bab Nikah
al-Mutah"
Now,
let us see what the problems are: …
If
the Prophet has forbidden the temporary marriage FOREVER
in the Day of Khaibar (1/7 AH), why it was practiced even
after the battle of
Hunain (after 10/8 AH) with the direct order of the
Prophet? (See the reference above) In other words:
How
is that possible that one is forbidden FOREVER and in two
different points of time, in the Day of Khaibar (1/7 AH)
and on the victory Mecca
(9/8 AH) FOREVER, and people were practicing it between
these two instants of time and after these two instances
with the order of the Prophet?
In
the mentioned tradition about the battle of Hunain, it is
said that the messenger of Allah ALLOWED to do Mutah
after the battle of Hunain. So we can not say
people did it because they did not know it was forbidden
forever. The traditions confirms that Mutah was done with
the direct order of the Prophet. So how can we justify
these few alleged traditions that the Prophet forbade it
forever before that? …
Two
Sunni scholars: al-Qurtubi (in his commentary of Quran)
and al-Nawawi (in his commentary of Sahih Muslim) are in
the opinion that different traditions concerning the ban
of Mutah specify seven different dates!!! ….
What
will be wrong if we take the opinion of Imam Ali (AS), the
most knowledgeable one among the companions who said:
The
Mutah is a mercy from Allah to his servants. If it were
not for Umar forbidding it, no one would commit (the sin)
of
fornication except the wretched (Shaqi)." …. “
But
why would anyone want to be in a temporary marriage?
What purpose does it serve? Temporary marriage is
not intended as an alternative to permanent marriage, but
rather, like polygamy, is an option for those who have
needs that permanent marriage cannot meet.
To claim that permanent marriage meets all needs is
foolish upon close examination of society.
Imam Ali (as), the 4th caliph of Islam
according to the Sunnis and the first Imam (one appointed
by God to succeed in leadership after the Prophet (saw)
and to uphold the religion) according to the Shias, is
quoted on this issue as saying,
“It
[temporary marriage] is permitted and absolutely allowed
for the one whom Allah has not provided with the means of
permanent marriage so that he may be chaste by performing
Mutah [temporary marriage].”
Wasail, vol. 14 pp.449-450.
In
modern society, the temporary marriage may meet the needs
of someone who is travelling for a long time and is in
need of companionship, or someone who cannot find a
permanent spouse. Additionally
it may serve the needs of someone without the financial
means to have a wedding and then to support his wife
financially. (The requirement that he maintain his spouse
according to his means and according to what she is
accustomed to does not have to apply in temporary
marriage.) The
elderly widows who have little realistic chance of finding
another permanent spouse can more easily find temporary
spouses to serve the need of companionship.
Similarly, youth who are too young for the
responsibilities of permanent marriage but in danger of
committing sin may lawfully meet in a Mutah marriage.
This last case does not give freedom for youth to
freely mingle with the opposite sex and have intercourse.
A condition mitigating against this abuse is the
requirement that a virgin female have permission of her
father to enter any marriage relationship, including Mutah,
unless the father is found to be one who is unreasonable
in that regard. It is further commonly required that a
condition of the marriage be that sex shall not take
place.
Mutah
is the way to avoid sin when permanent marriage is not
possible. Many
Muslims today commit sin prior to their marriage with the
person that they are engaged to.
Islam is clear that, between men and women,
touching, viewing parts of each other’s bodies that
should be covered, and visiting while unescorted are sins
unless they are closely related or married.
Engagement
is not marriage, yet couples involve themselves in this
behavior that should take place only in marriage.
The logical alternative to avoid sin is simply to
have a temporary marriage prior to the permanent marriage
so that the couple can make sure they are suited to each
other.
Mutah
is often referred to as a pleasure marriage and is
compared to prostitution.
The man pays the woman a dowry and they enjoy each
other and then move on.
But, in truth, Mutah probably more often occurs
without any sex than it does solely for the purpose of
sexual gratification.
Mutah, unlike permanent marriage, may have
conditions put on it, including the most common one, which
is that no sex shall take place.
Thus, its purpose is companionship and getting to
know the other person and not just sexual pleasure.
Mutah is different than prostitution in that it is
a union before God, and any children resulting will be
legitimate. It
is in all senses of the word a marriage.
Just as in permanent marriage, the woman has a
waiting period after the end of the marriage before she
can take another spouse.
The waiting period serves many purposes including
making sure of any paternity, avoiding running into
another relationship too soon, and giving the couple time
to reconcile. A
woman is unlikely to be able to make a living from Mutah,
because she could legally have less than half a dozen
partners in a year. In
this way, it is clearly unlike prostitution.
Payment of a dowry does take place in Mutah, but it
is unlike prostitution because the payment is not for sex,
but rather it is identical in purpose to the dowry given
in permanent marriage.
I
think the stigma placed on temporary marriage is largely
unjustified, but I must also admit that the way it tends
to be practiced is rather messy.
Most Muslims have heard stories in which a
permanently married man had several temporary spouses on
the side, while his permanent spouse was neglected. Or,
that a man convinced a young girl to sleep with him in
Mutah without the permission of her father by classifying
the father as one who would unreasonably deny the
marriage.
Personally,
I have known a handful of women involved in temporary
marriage, all of whom were converts.
The stories of blatant misuse of the marriage are
not to be found with those I have known, but there were
problems. I
think, in each case these marriages were too long.
What I mean is that temporary marriage is supposed
to be just that --temporary.
But in all cases that I have personal knowledge of,
they extended for years, often in a series of repeated
temporary marriages.
Two-thirds of the time the wife was kept secret
from family, friends, and/or community because of the
stigma and judgment that would result.
Thus, when someone unexpectedly came to the door,
the wife had to hide in a back room or closet silently
until the guest could be taken care of.
The longer the relationship persisted, the more the
woman became attached to the man and secretly hoped for
permanent marriage, and some resented having to hide if
they were one of the ones kept secret.
Often the men provided just enough hope of a
permanent marriage that the women stuck around, but years
passed and no longer term commitment was made, no
permanent marriage plans arose -- but another temporary
marriage was offered.
In public, the women frequently had to say they
were unmarried because the temporary marriage was unknown.
For some, the end result was a happy permanent marriage or
a happy parting but that was not always the case.
Ultimately, being temporary rather than permanent
spouses seemed to these women to indicate a partial
rejection by their husbands even if there was no other
reason to believe that to be the case. The
women just wanted more.
I
do not wish to paint the men who choose temporary marriage
even for prolonged periods in a bad light.
In nearly all cases they are trying to do right and
love their wives. Their
dilemma often stems from the rejection they find or
anticipate from their family and society because of the
race or nationality of their spouse, or because they found
each other without the traditional arrangement done by the
family. Or
often, they were initially only able to pursue a temporary
marriage and not a permanent one and had to hide their
marriage because of the very negative reactions and
rejection they would receive from people, especially
family, if it were made public.
I sympathize with the desire to want both your
family and your wife.
In the end, these men often have to choose one or
the other.
Rightfully,
they should not have to choose.
People should accept a man’s choice in spouse
regardless of her race or nationality, especially if she
is a pious woman. And people should not allow stigma to
exist upon those who find the need for temporary marriage.
This stigma has no place on something that was made
lawful by God and the Prophet (saw) and even encouraged or
mandated when sin is the likely alternative. Mutah has a
place in society and the need for it is not altogether
uncommon. It
is a gross error to accept fornication and adultery more
easily than Mutah.
I
strongly feel that people who engage in temporary marriage
should do so only after having educated themselves about
it and making clear in their minds and hearts that it is
indeed temporary. If
it is not intended to lead to a permanent marriage, this
needs to be absolutely understood by both sides.
And, if it is intended to lead to permanent
marriage, then the permanent marriage should take place as
soon as possible.
If,
upon examination of your heart, you find that you are one
who holds a stigma toward polygamy, Mutah or those who
practice them, you should understand that whether or not
your opinions are voiced, they do real damage.
People suffer because of the stigmas that others
hold. Just as
in a monogamous permanent marriage, polygamous and
temporary marriages can contain abuse and bad outcomes.
It is the abuse that should be stigmatized, and not
the marriages themselves.
In fact, stigmatizing the marriages causes abuse
within them to be more likely because it makes it more
likely that the marriages will be done in secret.
Therefore, if you are concerned about misuse of the
temporary and polygamous marriages, then let them out of
the closet and into the realm of the public.
One can only remove a stigma through conscious and
deliberate effort within oneself.
Although past damage cannot be fully repaired,
future damage can be prevented if more people, perhaps
starting with the reader him/herself, would be active and
audible in their support of polygamous and temporary
marriage and those individuals who pursue them lawfully.
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