The Islamic Sexual Morality (I)
Its Foundation
The
Islamic Sexual Morality (2)
Its Structure
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A. DEFINING THE ISLAMIC VIEW
The Islamic sexual morality is fundamentally different from that of
the Christian Church. This is because of the all-encompassing nature
of the Islamic shari'ah. Bertrand Russell says, "Great
religious leaders, with the exception of Muhammad and Confucius, if
he can be called religious have in general been very indifferent to
social and political considerations, and have sought rather to
perfect the soul by meditation, discipline and self-denial." (Marriage
and Morals, p. 175-176) Yes, Islam has surely not been
indifferent to social problems.
The Islamic sexual morality is also fundamentally different from the
new sexual morality in a sense that it does not accept the concept
of free sex. Islam aims at teaching its followers not to suppress
their sexual urges, rather to fulfill them but in a responsible way.
Islam recognizes the sexual needs of human beings and believes that
the natural instincts should be nurtured, not suppressed. Islam says
that the biological parts of our body have a purpose, they have not
been created uselessly. No text in Islam can be found to equate sex
with inherent evil or sin; whatever has been taught by the Qur'an,
Prophet Muhammad and his Ahlu'l-bayt points in the opposite
direction. What the Qur'an and the authentic sunnah and I emphasize
on authentic have said about sex and marriage will now be discussed
under the following headings: Islam has very highly recommended
marriage as a good deed and not as a lesser of two evils; Islam has
very strongly opposed celibacy and monasticism, and Islam believes
that marriage is not a hindrance in spiritual wayfaring, on the
contrary it helps the wayfarer.
1. MARRIAGE IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
It is important to realize that in Islamic texts the idea of
marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship between
husband and wife, nor is it confined to sex for the purpose of
procreation . The legal term for marriage is "nikah"
which literally means sexual intercourse.
Marriage is a highly recommended deed. Allah says, "Marry
the spouseless among you...if they are poor, God will enrich them of
His bounty."(Qur'an 24:32) The first word of this verse
begins with "ankihu" (Marry!) which is an
imperative form of the word nikah. According to the
principles of Islamic jurisprudence, any communication in imperative
form from God can have two levels of meaning: either it is an
obligatory command or a very high recommendation. And therefore we
see that in Islam celibacy is not considered as a virtue. Based on
this verse we find the Prophet saying that, "Whoever refrains
from marriage because of fear of poverty, he has indeed thought
badly of God." (Wasa'ilu 'sh-Shi'ah, vol. 14, p. 24) In
another verse Allah says, "... Then marry such women as seem
good to you two, three or four. But if you fear that you will not do
justice between your wives, then marry only one... "(4:3)
Sex has been openly recommended in the Qur'an, "When they
[i.e., the wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], you
go into them as Allah has commanded." (2:222) The phrase
'commanded you' does not refer to any legislative command; that is,
it does not mean that as soon as a person's wife becomes clean from
her period, he should immediately have sex with her. It is a
creative command and refers to the sexual urge which Allah has
placed in our nature. And when the sexual urge is counted as a
creative command of God, then who can associate it in any way with
sin and evil?!
Marriage and sex are among the signs of God's power and blessings.
The Qur'an says, "And among His signs is that He has created
for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may live in
tranquility with them; and He has created love and mercy between
you. Verily, in that are signs for those who reflect."(30:21
)
From these few verses of the Qur'an, one can easily understand that
according to Islam: (a) marriage is a sign of God's power and
blessings; (b) marriage is a highly recommended act of virtue which
should not be avoided because of poverty; (c) sexual urge is a
creative command of God placed in human nature. After equating sex
with Allah's creative command, there can be no room for equating it
with guilt, sin or evil.
* * *
The Prophet and the Imams of Ahlu'l Bayt also encouraged their
followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways
as can be seen from the following: The Prophet said, "No house
has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than
through marriage." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 3) The Prophet
said, "O you young men! I recommend marriage to you." (Wasa'il,
vol. 14, p. 25) Imam 'Ali said, "Marry, because marriage is the
tradition of the Prophet. The Prophet said, 'Whosoever likes to
follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my
tradition.'" (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 3-4, 6) Imam Riza
said, "Three things are from the traditions of the messengers
of God: using perfume, removing the [excessive] hair and frequently
visiting one's wife." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p. 4) Ishaq bin
'Ammar quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq as follows: "Loving women is
among the traditions of the prophets." (Wasa'il, Vol.
14, p. 9)
The Prophet said, "Prayer has been made the apple of my eyes,
and my pleasure is in women." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p. 10)
See with what ease the Prophet moves from prayers to the pleasure of
women! The Prophet said, "No Muslim man has gained a benefit
after [the religion of] Islam better than a Muslim wife who is a
cause of his pleasure whenever he looks towards her..." (Wasa'il,
Vol. 14, p. 23) Imam Muhammad al-Baqir quotes the Prophet as
follows: "Allah says that, 'Whenever I intend to gather the
good of this world and the hereafter for a Muslim, I give him a
heart which is humble [to Me], a tongue which praises [Me], a body
which can bear [worldly] affliction and a believing wife who is a
cause of his pleasure whenever he looks towards her and who protects
herself and his property when he is absent." (Wasa'il,
Vol. 14, p. 23) See with what ease Allah has combined His praise
with the pleasure a man derives from a faithful wife!
Jamil bin Darraj quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq saying, "Mankind
has not enjoyed [anything] in this world and the hereafter more than
the desire for women. Allah says, 'The love of desire of women
has been made to seem fair to people.'[3 :14] The people of the
Paradise do not enjoy anything from it more desirable than sex,
neither food nor drink." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p. 10)
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2. CELIBACY & MONASTICISM IS FORBIDDEN
The Islamic point of view about the worldly good things is not
negative, rather it says that we should appreciate them as the
blessings of God. And Islam is, therefore, totally opposed to
monasticism and celibacy. 'Uthman bin Maz'un was a close companion
of the Prophet. One day his wife came to the Prophet and complained,
"O the Messenger of God! 'Uthman fasts during the day and
stands for prayers during the night." In other words, she meant
to say that her husband was abstaining from sexual relations during
the night as well as the day. The Prophet was so much angered with
this that he did not even wait to put on his slippers. He came out
with the slippers in his hands and went to 'Uthman's house. The
Prophet found him praying. When 'Uthman finished his prayers and
turned towards the Prophet, the latter said, "O 'Uthman! Allah
did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and
straight[shari'ah]. I fast, pray and also have intimate
relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he
should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions. (Wasa'il,
Vol. 14, p. 10) Since 'Uthman was already married, the word
"marriage" in this hadith can only be applied to sexual
relations.
In another incident, three women came to the Prophet and complained
that their husbands were abstaining from meat, perfume and intimate
relations with their wives. The Prophet quickly came to the mosque,
went on the pulpit and said, "What has happened to some of my
companions that they do not eat meat, they do not use perfume and
they do not go to their women?! Whereas I eat meat, use perfume and
go to my wives. Therefore whosoever dislikes my tradition, then he
is not from me. (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p.4)
Ibn Abu 'Umayr quotes that Sikkin an-Nakha'i had devoted himself to
prayers and abstinence from women and delicious food. Then he wrote
a letter to Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq seeking clarification about his
actions. The Imam wrote, "As for what you have said about
abstaining from women, you surely know how many women the Prophet
had! As for food, the Prophet used to eat meat and honey." (Wasa'il,
Vol. 14, p. 4) The Imam is obviously condemning the holier-than-thou
attitude of his companion.
Imam 'Ali narrates that some companions of the Prophet had vowed to
abstain from sexual relations with their wives, from eating during
the day and from sleeping during the night. Umm Salamah, the
Prophet' s wife, informed him about this group. The Prophet went out
to his companions and said, "Do you abstain from women whereas
I go to the women?! I eat during the day and sleep during the night!
Whosoever dislikes my tradition, then he is not from me." After
this speech, Allah revealed the following verse:
O you who believe! Do not forbid [for
yourselves] the good things which Allah has permitted you; and do
not exceed [the law] Allah does not like those who exceed [the
law]. Therefore eat of the lawful and good things that Allah has
provided you, and fear Allah in whom you believe. (5:87-8)
Read this verse carefully and see that
firstly, it counts sex, food and sleep among "the lawful and
good things which Allah has permitted you;" and secondly
celibacy and abstinence is considered as "exceeding the law of
God." After this verse was revealed, those companions came to
the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of God! We have taken oath
to abstain from those things." That is, how can we now break
our oath of abstinence? Then Allah revealed the following verse "Allah
will not call you [to account] for vain oaths... "(5:84)
Again, note that an oath of celibacy or abstinence from the good and
lawful things is considered by Islam as 'vain oaths!' (Wasa'il,
Vol. 14, p. 8-9)
The discouraging of celibacy is not confined to men, even women have
been discouraged from remaining single. Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq said,
"The Prophet has forbidden the women to become ascetic and to
prevent themselves from husbands." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p.
117)
'Abdus Samad bin Bashir quotes that a woman came to Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq
and said, "May God bless you; I am an ascetic woman."
The Imam: "What does asceticism mean to you?"
The woman: "It means that I will never marry."
The Imam: "Why?"
The woman: "By practicing asceticism, I want to acquire favor
(of God)."
The Imam: "Go away! If asceticism was a means of acquiring
favor (of God), then Fatimah would have been more entitled to it
than you because none can gain more favor [in the eyes of Allah]
than her." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p. 117-118)
A similar incident is also narrated in relation to Imam Riza.
The Prophet said, "The most low [in status] among your dead are
the singles." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p. 7)
Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq says that a person came to my father. My father
asked him, "Do you have a wife? " He said, "No.
" My father said, "I would not prefer to have the world
with all its riches while I sleep at night without a wife." (Wasa'il,
Vol. 14, p.7)
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3. MARRIAGE HELPS IN SPIRITUALITY
In Islam, contrary to Christianity, marriage and sex are not
antipathetic to the love for and worship of God. Instead of an
obstacle, marriage is regarded as an asset in acquiring spiritual
perfection.
The Prophet said, "One who marries has already guarded half of
his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other
half." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p.5) A person who can fulfill
his sexual urges lawfully is less distracted in the spiritual
journey. Love for women and faith are inter-related. In one hadith,
'Umar bin Zayd quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq that, "I do not
think that a person's faith can increase positively unless his love
for women has increased." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p.9) The
same Imam said, "Whenever a person's love for women increases,
his faith increases in quality." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14,
p.11) He also said, "Whosoever's love for us increases, his
love for women must also increase." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14,
p.11)
Marriage even elevates the value of prayers. The Prophet said,
"Two rak 'ats (cycles) prayed by a married person is better
than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person." (Wasa'il,
Vol. 14, p.7) Ibn Fuzzal quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq saying that,
"Two rak'ats prayed by a married person is better than seventy
rak'ats prayed by a single person." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14,
p.6)
The Prophet said, "If anyone likes to meet Allah in purity,
then he should meet Him with a wife." (Wasa'il, Vol. 14,
p. 25)
A woman came to the Prophet's house and her strong perfume soon
filled the house. When the Prophet inquired about the visitor, the
woman said that she had tried everything to attract her husband but
in vain; he does not leave his meditation to pay any attention to
her.
The Prophet told her to inform her husband about the reward of
sexual intercourse which he described as follows: "When a man
approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment
in Allah's views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of
Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fell like the
leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major
ablution, he is cleansed from sins. (Wasa'il 'sh-Shi'ah, Vol.
14, p. 74)
* * *
These quotations from the Qur'an and the sayings of the Prophet and
the Imams of Ahlu'l-bayt show that the Islamic view on sex and
marriage is in complete harmony with human nature. It can easily be
concluded that in the Islamic sexual morality: (a) marriage and sex
is highly recommended and it is in no way associated with evil,
guilt or sin; (b) monasticism and celibacy is unacceptable; (c)
marriage is considered a helping factor in attaining spiritual
perfection it prevents the Muslims from getting into sins and also
enhances the value of their acts of worship. These teachings
neutralize the need for a sexual revolution in a Muslim society.
Since there is no sexual suppression, the question of a sexual
revolution does not arise.
The Islamic Sexual
Morality (2)
Its Structure
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This chapter deals with the practical side of
sexual morality. We will first talk about marriage at the age of
puberty, followed by a look into the possible ways unlawful as well
as lawful of handling sexual urge if one decides not to marry soon
after puberty, and finally the marriage procedure and sexual
techniques will be discussed comprehensively.
It is necessary to mention that the last part of this chapter is
very explicit because religious do's and don'ts have to be spelled
out in very clear terms. As the saying goes, "There is no room
for shame (haya') in [learning or asking about] religion."
A. THE BEGINNING OF SEXUAL LIFE
1 . BULUGH & RUSHD
Sexual desire is aroused in human beings at the age of puberty. In
Islamic legal definition puberty (bulugh) is determined by
one of the following:
1. age: fifteen lunar years for boys and nine lunar years for
girls;
2. internal change (in boys only): The first nocturnal
emission. Semen accumulates in the testicles from puberty onwards
and more semen may be formed than the system can assimilate; when
this happens, semen is expelled during the sleep. This is known as
nocturnal emission wet dream or ihtlam in Arabic.
3. physical change: Growth of coarse hair on lower part of
abdomen.
Since the sexual urge begins at puberty and as Islam says that
sexual urge should be fulfilled only through marriage, it has
allowed marriage as soon as the boy and the girl reach the age of
puberty. In the case of girls, it not only allows them to be married
as soon as they become mature, but also recommends such marriage. It
is based on such teachings that Islam discourages girls from
postponing their marriage because of education; instead, it says
that girls should get married and then continue their education if
they wish to do so.
Physical maturity by itself, however, is not enough for a person to
handle the marriage responsibilities; rushd (maturity of
mind) is equally important. On the other hand, our present way of
life has become so much complicated that a considerable gap has
appeared between puberty and maturity both in financial and social
affairs. A recent article on the American youths says, "[Y]oung
Americans entering the 21st century are far less mature than their
ancestors were at the beginning of the 20th. The difference is
evident in all areas of youthful development: sex, love, marriage,
education and work. Physically, today's youths are maturing earlier
than previous generations, but emotionally they are taking much
longer to develop adult attachments." (Newsweek, Special
Edition Spring 1990, p. 55) Consequently, it is not easy for boys
and girls of our atomic era to marry as soon as they become
physically mature.
2. WHAT SHOULD THE YOUTHS DO?
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What can the Muslims do about their next generation? In spite of the
problem mentioned above, I believe there are ways by which Muslim
youths in their late teens can get married without worrying about
the financial aspect. Here I can suggest four possibilities:-
First: WITH FAMILY'S SUPPORT
If the parents are well to do and can support their young married
children till they are financially independent, then I would
strongly suggest that they encourage their children to marry and
support them till they can stand on their own feet. While talking
about the contract of freedom made between a slave and his master,
the Qur'an says, ". . . and give them of the wealth of Allah
which He has given you..." (24:33)
If Islam puts so much emphasis on financially supporting one's freed
slave so that he may stand on his own feet, it is needless to say
how virtuous it would be to help one's own children to stand on
their feet!
Second: WITH COMMUNITY'S SUPPORT
On a broader level, the Muslim organizations should create funds
(e.g., long term interest-free loans) to support the young Muslims
who want to get married but lack financial resources. Once a person
guilty of indecent sexual behavior was brought to Imam 'All. After
punishing him, the Imam arranged for his marriage at the expenses of
the government. The Imam set an example of how the society can help
the youths in starting a family life. By looking at the situation in
the Western world, the Muslim organizations should at least morally
feel obliged to provide such support for their youths. This is not a
matter of charity, it is a matter of surviving as a Muslim community
in a morally hostile environment.
Third: MARRIED MINUS FINANCIAL BURDEN
The boy and the girl can do their 'aqd (Islamic marriage
contract) but postpone the marriage ceremony till after they have
finished their education. In other words, they would be married but
still staying with their parents. They can meet each other without
any shar'i objection; and if they decide to have sexual
relations, then they should use permissible contraceptive means to
delay the child-bearing process. In this way, they would be able to
fulfill their sexual desire and be free from financial
responsibilities.
Fourth: MARRIED PLUS SIMPLE LIFE-STYLE
The boy and the girl can do their 'aqd and even the marriage
ceremony but delay the child-bearing process AND adopt a very simple
life-style. Thus they will be able to fulfill their sexual desire
and also be free from heavy financial burden.
However, I cannot overemphasize the importance of the role played by
parents in supervision of all such arrangements. I would not at all
support the idea that a boy and a girl decide such matters on their
own without the parents' input or without registering such
arrangements at the community center. This will protect the
reputation of the girl in case things do not work out properly.
Moreover, what I have suggested above also means that parents and
youngsters both will have to radically change their outlook towards
the materialistic aspect of life. They will have to adopt a very
simple life-style. If today's youths intend to have a 'standard'
financial footing before getting into marriage, then it will not be
possible in the late teens; they will have to wait till they are in
their thirties! The article mentioned above says that the youths
"are marrying later than their parents did partly for economic
reasons and many college graduates are postponing marriage beyond
age 30." (Newsweek, p. 55)
One important benefit of these suggestions is that a youngster of
college age will be free from sexual anxieties and will be able to
concentrate fully on his or her studies. If a Muslim youth raised in
the Western society without any religious upbringing is not provided
with financial and moral support by his parents, then he is at risk
of melting into the permissive culture that tolerates teenage sex
outside marriage. And if this happens, God forbid, the youth will no
longer regard a sexual relationship as a matter of value or
commitment.
"Most of us got one-night stands out of our system in
college," writes Nancy Smith, 25, in a recent essay for the
Washington Post on her generation's struggle with adulthood.
"Sex outside a relationship is not so much a matter of right or
wrong as: Is it really worth the hassle?" (Newsweek, p.
55) And this type of sexual behavior has serious social
consequences: abortions, unwanted babies, increase in divorce ratio
and single parent families. Add to this the emotional suffering the
people in general and the children in particular go through in such
crises.
B. HANDLING SEXUAL URGE BEFORE MARRIAGE?
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If a person cannot marry soon after becoming sexually and mentally
mature, then how should he or she handle the sexual urge? In this
section we will survey some ways of fulfilling the sexual urge and
see whether they are permitted by Islam or not.
1. IMMORAL WAYS
(A) Pre-Marital Sex
Pre-marital sex is absolutely forbidden in Islam, no matter whether
it is with a girl-friend or a prostitute. Pre-marital sex is
fornication (zina).
It is also an irresponsible sexual behavior There is no
responsibility involved in such relationships. The most vulnerable
person in such relationships is the woman. Statistics can
overwhelmingly prove that man has often cheated innocent women in
pre-marital sex. Today half of all American men and women in their
thirties cohabited before marriage, many of them on the assumption
that it is better to look deeply before they leap. But studies now
demonstrate that couples who cohabit before marriage are more likely
to divorce than those who do not. (Newsweek, p. 57)
Glen Elder, a sociologist at University of North Carolina, has this
to say about cohabitation: "It's a relationship that attracts
those, mainly men, who are looking for an easy way out and it is
uncertain what, if anything, it contributes to marriage." A
twenty-four year old lady wrote the following in a letter to Ann
Landers: "...The line [in a previous letter] that struck home
was from the teenager who said she knew lots of girls her age who
had several partners 'just for the fun of it.' I found that odd
because I was having sex at 16 and it was no fun at all. Sleeping
with guys wasn't exciting or thrilling, it was degrading. It made me
feel lonelier and emptier than ever. I also worried from month to
month about being pregnant. That can be a real hell...if I could
talk to the young girls who read your column, I would tell them that
teenage sex doesn't solve problems, it creates more. It doesn't make
a girl feel loved. It makes her feel cheap. I'd let them know that
it doesn't make a girl 'more of a woman,' it can make her less of
one." (The Vancouver Sun, Dec. 5, 1989)
Allah says: Do not go near adultery, .surely it is an indecency,
and an evil way [of fulfilling sexual urge]. (17:32) Fornication
and adultery have severely been condemned in the saying of the
Prophet and the Imams. In Islam, pre-marital sex is considered an
immoral act against the rights of Allah and one's own sexual organs.
Pre-marital sex is a sin punishable by the Islamic court. If an
unmarried man and an unmarried woman are found guilty of fornication
in an Islamic court, their punishment will be as the following: The
woman and the man who fornicate scourge each of them a hundred
whips; and in the matter of God s religion, let no tenderness for
them seize you if you believe in God and the Last Day; and let a
party of the believers witness their punishment. (24:2) If the
unmarried man or woman commit fornication more than once, then they
will be punished three times by hundred wipes, and if they are
proven guilty for the fourth time, then they will be put to death.
(See the chapter on "hudud" in Sharaya' and Sharh
Lum'a also a;-Khu'i, Takmilah, p. 37-8) (As for adultery,
its punishment is even more severe because married persons have no
excuse, whatsoever, to commit adultery. The shari'ah says
that married persons guilty of adultery should be stoned to death.)
Therefore, pre-marital sex is out of the question as a means of
fulfilling the sexual urge.
(B) Masturbation
In Islamic terminology, masturbation (istimna) means
self-stimulation of the sexual organ till one achieves emission of
semen or orgasm. Masturbation in form of self-stimulation is
forbidden in Shi'ah fiqh. While describing the believers, the Qur'an
says, "The believers are... those who protect their sexual
organs except from their spouses... Therefore, whosoever seeks more
beyond that [in sexual gratification], then they are the
transgressors." (23:5-6) The last sentence makes it very
clear that any sexual gratification outside marriage is considered a
transgression of the law of God. And this verse also implies that
sex is an act in which two people are involved. Once when Imam
Ja'far as-Sadiq was asked about masturbation, he recited this very
verse and mentioned masturbation as one of its examples. (Wasa'il,
vol. 18, p. 575) In another, the Imam was asked about masturbation;
he said, "It is an indecent act..." (Wasa'il, vol.
14, p. 267; vol. 18, pp. 574-5)
Masturbation is a sin for which a person can also be punished by the
Islamic court. Of course, the nature of the punishment is upon the
judge's discretion. Once a person was caught masturbating and was
brought to Imam 'Ali. The Imam punished him by beating on his hands
until it turned red; then he made arrangement for his marriage on
government's expenses. (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 267; vol. 18,
pp. 574-5)
These days some scientists are telling us that there is no harm in
masturbation, rather it is a natural act. To prove that it is
natural, they give examples of some wild animals, like monkeys.
Actually they represent those who have gone to the other extreme of
sexual morality. They have degraded human beings to the level of
wild animals, and then justify their deeds by finding examples in
the animal world. They are, in Qur'anic expression, "like
cattle, nay they are more astray; they are the heedless ones." (7:
179) The irony is that when Muslims talk about following Islam which
came just 1400 years ago, they are labeled by the secularists as
'reactionaries,' 'those who want to turn the clock backwards,' 'anti
-progress,' and now these very people are going millions of years
back (according to their own counting) and following the wild
animals or the primitive societies to determine what is natural for
us and what is not natural!
Many different types of sexual behavior could be found in primitive
societies, but that does not automatically make it natural or right.
On the contrary, in some cases, masturbation was considered an
abnormal and abhorrent act! For example, Lewis Cutlow writes about
the Amazon Indians that:
...Xinguanos are deeply disturbed by
civilizados who are sexually frustrated; they cannot understand
how a man can become aroused at the sight of a nude woman. In his
25 years of daily life with Indians, Orlando told me, he had never
seen an Indian with an erection. It would be absurd to them. Nor
has Orlando seen or heard any instances of sexual deviation among
the Indians. They did not know what masturbation was until they
saw a civilizado telegraph operator doing it. From then on the
telegraph operator was a problem to Orlando and his colleagues at
the Park. The Indians despised him because, in their eyes, he had
done something reprehensible. There was nothing to do but remove
him from the Park. (The Twilight of the Primitive, p. 16-7
as quoted in Sex and Destiny, p. 88)
Sometimes the scientists justify masturbation
by saying that many people do it! But if a majority does something,
it does not automatically prove that it is right. Otherwise, drugs
should also be declared 'normal' because the majority of Americans,
at one time or another, took drugs. The surveys made by sexologists
like Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, and the Hite Report just reveal
what the American people do in the privacy of their bedroom; it does
not necessarily prove that what they do is natural and right!
Many modern psychologists say that masturbation is just like normal
sexual intercourse, rather even better because you are master of
yourself, you don't have to worry about your partner's feelings!
This is an example of how low the materialist society has sunk into
its self-centered and selfish attitude that even in sex it prefers
to seek self-gratification with the exclusion of the spouse.
"They seem to forget that in sexual intercourse all the senses
contribute to the stimulation and orgasm: Man and woman see their
partner, touch each other, say endearing words to each other and
hear the stimulating sounds; and even the senses of smell and taste
are utilized. And the penetration of male organ into the female
leads to the final excitement and orgasm. But in masturbation the
only source of stimulation is imagination, in which no other sense
takes any part. The whole burden is loaded upon the mind; and, as a
result, while normal sexual intercourse causes happiness and joy,
masturbation creates emotional and psychological depression." (Rizvi,
S.S.A., Your Questions Answered, vol. 3, p. 40-1)
This is not just an opinion of a Muslim scholar. Even the Hite
Report on Male Sexuality, says: "Similarly, many men said that
they enjoyed masturbating physically, but that emotionally it was
depressing." (The Hite Report on Male Sexuality, p. 489)
In one of the replies, a man writes: "It is physically
enjoyable, but it can leave one emotionally empty or lonely for the
real thing. You can do it when you feel like it, come when you want,
bring up your own images, but there is no warmth or closeness, no
one to share pleasure with, no companionship. . . "(The Hite
Report on Male Sexuality, p. 489) After saying that the physical
effects of masturbation are negligible, Leslie D. Weatherhead in The
Mastery of Sex writes: "Psychologically the results are
more serious. Masturbation in the adult is nearly always due to a
maladjustment..." (The Mastery of Sex, p. 103)
THE CURE FOR MASTURBATION: It is easy to stay away from fornication
because it involves another person. But the danger of getting into
the habit of masturbation is always there, therefore it is necessary
to know how to combat this perverted sexual behavior. The following
is a guide-line for releasing a person from the habit of
masturbation. This has been taken from Weatherhead's The Mastery
of Sex and 'Allamah Rizvi's Your Questions Answered.
1. Strengthening will-power. This is possible only if one honestly
and sincerely wants to get rid of this habit. Pray to Allah to help
you overcome this habit, concentrate on religious teachings, and
build up the spirit of taqwa, piety.
2. More and more stay in the company of other persons: If in the
daytime you feel like masturbating, get up from your bed or chair
and get into the presence of other people and talk to them. If it
happens at bedtime, sit up in bed, read a book or write a letter. Do
something to switch your mind on to other things.
3. Adopt some hobby or sports which will provide you with an outlet
for the energies of your body.
(C) Homosexuality
One way of fulfilling the sexual urge which is now becoming
acceptable in the Western world is sexual relations between members
of the same sex: homosexuality (which by definition includes
lesbianism). By saying that it is becoming acceptable in liberal
societies I do not mean to say that homosexuality is a 20th century
phenomenon; no, not at all. But there is one big difference between
the past and the present: in the past, homosexuality was considered
a perverted sexual behavior whereas now it is being labeled as
'natural' and as a result of 'inborn tendency' !
All revealed religions, Judaism, Christianity and Islam form a
united front against such sexual behavior. It has been clearly
condemned in the Bible and the Qur'an. The Qur'an describes the
people of Lut (Lot) as follows:
When We sent Lut, he said to his
people, "What! do you commit the indecency which none in all
the nations had committed before you? Look at you! You
approach the men lustfully instead of approaching your
women! No, you are a people who have exceeded the limits."
The only answer of his people was that they said, 'Expel them from
your city, surely they are a people who seek to keep themselves
clean!" So We delivered him and his followers, except his
wife; she was one of those who tarried behind. We sent upon them a
rain. So behold how was the end of the guilty people. (7:80-84)
The Qur'an also describes how Prophet Lut
tried to reason with his people when they approached his three
guests (who were actually angels in human form):
When the people of Lut saw the handsome
young men, they came to him, running towards him. Lut had
anticipated this because they had been doing evil deeds from
before.
When the people reached close to his
house, Lut said pointing towards his daughters that,
"O my people! These are my daughters, they are purer for you.
Fear Allah and do not disgrace me in regard to my guests. Isn't
there among you a man of right mind?"
They said, "You know better that we
have no desire for your daughters; and you surely know what we
desire." (11 :78-79)
Explaining the details of the punishment,
Allah says,
So when Our punishment came upon the
people of Lut, We turned the city upside down and showered
them with stones of baked clay, one after another.(11:82)
So we see that as far as the Qur'an is
concerned, homosexuality is an "indecency," and that Allah
had destroyed a whole nation because of this indecent sexual
behavior.
In the Islamic legal system, homosexuality is a punishable crime
against the laws of God. In the case of homosexuality between two
males, the active partner is to be lashed a hundred times if he is
unmarried and killed if he is married; whereas the passive partner
is to be killed regardless of his marital status. In the case of two
females (i.e., lesbianism), the sinners are to be lashed a hundred
times if they are unmarried and stoned to death if they are married.
(See the chapter on "hudud" in Sharaya and Sharh
Lum'a also al-Khu'i, Takmilah, p. 42-44.
Why is Islam so severe in matters of fornication, homosexuality and
lesbianism? If the Islamic system had not allowed the gratification
of the sexual urge by lawful means (without even associating guilt
with it), then it would be right to say that Islam is very severe.
But since it has allowed the fulfillment of sexual instincts by
lawful means, it is not prepared to tolerate any perverted behavior.
The homosexuals are considered as the high risk group for Acquired
Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). This shows that nature has not
accepted it as a normal sexual behavior among mankind. The
homosexuals are told that in order to have safe sex, they must use
condoms. If homosexuality without condoms is not safe sex, then how
can it be natural? Isn't the statement that "it is natural but
not safe" a contradiction in itself?
The moral bankruptcy of the West is clearly evident in the present
trend where some Christian churches are willing to consider
modifying the Biblical moral values to accommodate the whims of
those who want to justify their immoral behavior! A high ranking
Anglican cleric in Canada says that it's time his church approved
some form of service or rite that would bless the union of committed
same sex couples. (See the statement of The Very Rev. Duncan
Abraham. Dean of St. James Cathedral in Toronto. The Toronto Sun,
Nov. 24, 1993.) After a three-hour debate in 1987, the General Synod
of the Church of England "decided that homosexuality is wrong,
but has refused to condemn it as a sin." (The Globe &
Mail (Toronto) Nov. 12, 1987) It seems that instead of providing
moral and ethical leadership, the church is being led by the special
interest groups. Such groups even want the public schools to change
the definition of family so as to make their life-style acceptable.
2. LAWFUL TEMPORARY WAYS
(back)
If a Muslim cannot marry soon after puberty, then he or she just has
two options: temporary abstinence or temporary marriage.
(A) Temporary Abstinence
Islam has allowed marriage as soon as a person becomes physically
mature, and it also strongly recommends that at least during the
early years of marriage to adopt a simple life-style so that the
lack or paucity of financial resources does not obstruct a happy
life.
But if a person decides, for whatever reason, not to marry soon
after he or she becomes physically mature, then the only way is to
adopt temporary abstinence. After strongly recommending the marriage
of single people, the Qur'an says, "And those who cannot
marry should practice restrain (or abstinence) till Allah enriches
them out of His bounty." (24:33)
However, abstinence from all the forbidden ways of fulfilling the
sexual urge is not easy. Therefore, a few guide-lines would not be
out of place. Once a man came to the Prophet and said, "I do
not have the (financial) ability to marry; therefore, I have come to
complain about my singleness." The Prophet advised him how to
control his sexual urge by saying, "Leave the hair of
your body and fast continuously." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p.
178) By saying that "leave the hair of your body," the
Prophet is asking not to remove the hair which grows on pubic area,
chest, etc, by shaving or using lotion or wax; rather one should
just trim the hair.
This hadith is indicating that removing the excessive hair
increases one's sexual urge. (Probably, that is why the shari'ah
has recommended the men to shave the excessive hair every forty
days, and the women to remove the excessive hair by lotion or cream
every twenty days.) In retrospect, it means that not removing the
hair will decrease the sexual desire and help the person in
abstinence. Imam 'Ali says, "Whenever a person's hair
increases, his sexual desires have also decreased." (Wasa'il,
vol. 14, p. 178) I have not yet come across any scientific
discussion on the relationship between removing of the hair and
sexual urge, but I am told that the hakims believed that
removing the hair from the pubic area increased the chances of
direct pressure on that area and, consequently, the blood flow to
the sexual organs.
The other method of decreasing the sexual urge is fasting. It is
obvious that one of the greatest benefits of fasting is the
strengthening of one's will power. And no doubt, abstinence in the
sexual context mostly depends on the will-power of the person. So
fasting will strengthen the will-power of the person and make it
easier for him or her to restrain the sexual feelings.
(B) Temporary Marriage (Mut 'a)
If a person does not marry soon after maturing and finds it
difficult to control his or her sexual desire, then the only way to
fulfill the sexual desire is mut'a.
In Islamic laws, according to the Shi'ah fiqh, marriage is of two
types: da'im, permanent and munqati', temporary. The munqati'
marriage is also known as mut'a. This is not the place to
discuss the legality or the illegality of the temporary marriage (mut'a).
It will suffice to say that even according to Sunni sources, mut'a
was allowed in Islam till the early days of the caliphate of 'Umar
ibn al-Khattab. It was in the latter period of his rule that 'Umar
declared mut'a as haram. It goes without saying that a
decision by 'Umar has no value in front of the Qur'an and the sunnah!
As for the relevance of the mut'a system in modern times, I
will just quote what Sachiko Murata, a Japanese scholar, wrote in
her thesis on this subject: "Let me only remark that the modern
West has not come near to solving all the legal problems that have
grown up because of relatively free sexual relationships in
contemporary society. If any real solution to these problems is
possible, perhaps a certain inspiration may be drawn from a legal
system such as mut'a which, with its realistic appraisal of
human nature, has been able to provide for the rights and
responsibilities of all parties." (Murata, Temporary
Marriage in Islamic Laws (Qum: Ansariyan, 1991) p. 4. For a
detailed discussion on the social aspect of mut'a, see Mutahhari,
The Rights of Women in Islam (Tehran: WOFIS, 1981) and on the
legal aspect, see Kashifu 'l-Ghita', The Origin of Shi'ite Islam
and Its Principles (Qum: Ansariyan). For an in depth study on
the Qur'anic verse and ahadith of mut'a, see at-Tabataba'i al-Mizan,
vol. 8 (English translation) pp. 130-161.)
The main difference between the two types of marriage is that in
permanent marriage, Islam has clearly defined the duties and
obligations between the spouses. For example, it is the duty of the
husband to provide the basic necessities of life for his wife and
the wife is expected to not refuse sexual relations without any
religious or medical reason. But in temporary marriage, Islam has
given the prospective spouses the right of working out their own
duties and expectation plans. For example, the husband is not
obliged to maintain the wife unless it has been so stipulated in the
marriage contract. Likewise, the wife can put a condition in the
marriage contract that there will be no sexual relations. (Al-Khui, Minhaj,
vol. 2, p. 267) Such conditions are invalid in a permanent
marriage but allowed in temporary marriage.
I cannot overemphasize the temporary nature of mut'a. The
message of Islam is quite clear: marry on a permanent basis; if that
is not possible, then adopt temporary abstinence; if that is not
possible, only then use the mut'a marriage.
The temporary nature of mut'a can also be seen from the
following saying of the Imams: Once 'Ali bin Yaqtin, a prominent
Shi'ah who held a high post in ' Abbasid government, came to Imam
'Ali ar-Riza to ask about mut'a. The Imam said, "What
have you to do with it because Allah has made you free from its
need." (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 449) He has also said,
"It is permitted and absolutely allowed for the one whom Allah
has not provided with the means of permanent marriage so that he may
be chaste by performing mut'a. (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p.
449-450)
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